Hitting a 2 outer..

While doing time in a state penitentiary, I get to witness things that many other don’t. Although many of the inmates that I am entrusted to watch are a little insane to all out spun, I can’t help but wonder how these people made it through the judicial system. Those of you who have read this blog have been witness to many of these folks. The inmates I get to spend a day with are the same people you cross the street from. They are the people on the corner and street begging for change, or rummaging through the trash for a meal or a smoke. On the streets I have the same options as many of you. I can ignore them (which I generally do) or I can help them. At work I don’t have the luxury of crossing the street. I have to deal with each one.

The day started like any other day. I walk in and hear the slamming sallyport doors and to receive my assignment. I am lucky in the sense that I get to work various jobs. I am not stuck in a single assignment. Today, I draw the Reception Center. I have to handle 850 inmates fresh from county jail and eager to start to do their time. I also get the tasty side dish of the Security Housing Unit (SHU). Either way, it sucks. The SHU is considered the states prison within the prison. It is like the players on the Game Show Networks High Stakes Poker. A very elite group of player playing at a level many others can only marvel. The personalities are similar to the poker players. The loud and over the top cons like Matasow and the silent, but deadly killers like Phil Ivy. Anyway it is a club that I have to rule over. On this day I am dealing with a racially motivated and dangerous inmate who has been busted in prison for making weapons and Indecent Exposure, a black inmate who hates whites and loves to show her money maker. I am tasked with getting placed in a cell with only a blanket for clothing and a hole in the ground as a bathroom. Her home for the weekend will consist of padded walls and a small window.

As one could image, here comes the “devil white man” to hold a women down. After several minutes of “F you this and F your mother that” she gets placed in her single cell awaiting a healthy dose of Haldol to help “sooth” the pain. When you have to deal with a nut like this, and accomplish the mission without pepper spray or steel baton, it feels like hitting a 2 outer on the river. You can’t explain how it happened, but you still say, “Ship It! Holla”.

Speaking of hitting a 2 outer, I logged on to FTP to basically blow off my last $41.00 playing a little poker. I accomplished half of the task when I got heads up with an fn donkola. I call him that even though homie took my stack. I really wasn't that upset. I saw this guy shove it all in with TPWK, and a second shove with A2 suited on a chasing a runner runner flush draw (which he hit). So on a JJ66 board I thought my 10’s were good, but his QQ one the day. I call it a bad read. Anyway, I am down to my last $17.00 and decide I am going out on a .50/1 table. I buy in and wait for any pair to shove. Well I hit a 77 and true to form, stuff it in. The table folds and I am back to $20.00. I work my way up to $27.00 when I call a LP raise with 33 from the BB. The board looks pretty safe and my stack is small at $23.00 when I lead out for a ¾ pot bet. The LP raiser puts me all in and I say F it, so I call. He shows a small pair of Aces to my 33. Well like clock work a 3 peels of the turn and I have a quick double up. Needless to say the LP raiser is till cussing me about a 2 outer and how I can call and, “yada, yada, yada”. Like I said earlier, Ship It, Holla! With a couple of timely bets and a second shove I ended up with a true double up. Hell, I can’t even give the FTP money away.